Following are a few conversations I’ve had or overheard in the past few days. A and B are different persons in each of the dialogues. I could be one or the other or neither.
Dialogue 1: Middle East Conflict
A: What do you think about what’s happening in Palestine? It’s your country.
B: I don’t know man! What do we have going over there anyway? Dumb and Dumber?
Dialogue 2: The Four W’s
A: The weather is beautiful today…
B: yeah… the sun is shining and the snow is melting… who would imagine the weather in Canada to be so nice in early February..
A: well, you never know what the weather would be like here. There are 4 W’s in Canada you just cannot predict…
B: what are they?
A: Weather, Women, Wages, and Welfare!
Dialogue 3: No Comment
A: Surat Yusuf is my favorite chapter in the Quran…
B: really? tara it’s makrooh [undesirable] to read surat yusuf
A: C’mon! That can’t be. It’s the QURAN!
B: It’s not haram, just makrooh especially for girls.
A: but why is it makrooh?
B: Because it describes in detail how Zuleika attempted to seduce Yusuf…so you know…
*A is speechless*
Dialogue 4: Warming up for Muharram
A: You’re invited to Sara’s party on Friday, so please come with me.
B: From now till Friday.. yseer ‘7air. But what’s the occasion?
B: Isn’t it too early to celebrate the Islamic New Year?
A: No, this is not a new year’s celebration. Shias don’t celebrate the New Year because it’s the beginning of Muharram you know…
B: Hmmm, if it wasn’t for New Year’s, why would anyone celebrate the coming of Muharram?
A: No! They're not celebrating Muharram, we just won’t be able to party or listen to music for 2 months so…
B: so this is the final release so to speak?
B: woa! This just doesn’t sound right!
* Muharram is the first month of the Islamic calendar. It also marks the month in which Imam Hussein and members of his family were martyred in the Battle of Karbala.
Dialogue 6: If we only had mind-reading machines…
A: hey..what are you thinking about so hard?
B: you don’t want to know
B: well, at that very moment I was thinking about Gorbachev’s birthmark
A: and what about his birthmark?
B: I’m trying to figure out what landmass/map it resembles
A: and what did you come up with?
B: The map of Muharraq seems to bear a slight resemblance to it
C: you guys are you crazy or what?